No More Apologies
by englishstrawbie
Summary: Callie/Arizona. A short scene following episode 10x15, Throwing It All Away.


Arizona loitered in the archway leading to the kitchen and leaned against its wooden frame. The squeaking joint in her left leg gave away her presence.

"Did she go back to sleep?" Callie asked, referring to their four year old daughter. Strands of hair fell into her eyes as she glanced over her shoulder at Arizona, continuing to wash up the discarded cups and dishes as she spoke.

"She did," Arizona answered, her mouth curving into a smile. "She thought her mamas were having too much fun outside without her."

Callie chuckled as she pictured her daughter's pouting face. Although Sofia was the spitting image of herself, she had picked up so many of Arizona's mannerisms.

"It _was_ fun," Arizona added. "Thank you."

Callie threw her a smile as she continued to tidy up. Neither of them could remember the last time they had laughed so much together. For twenty minutes, as Callie had pulled her up and down the sidewalk in front of their house, they simply enjoyed each other's company – something they had not done for a long time.

Despite the happy ending to their day, Arizona could still see the exhaustion in her wife's posture; her muscles were tight, her shoulders tense. She looked beaten by everything the day had thrown at her.

"You look really tired, why don't I do that?" Arizona offered, taking a tentative step forward.

Callie waved her away. "It's fine, I'm almost done," she said, though she still released a heavy sigh.

Arizona watched as she worked. She had heard about Derek taking his sensors away from the brain-mapping project. Not that Callie had told her about it yet, but Arizona half expected a Spanglish rant coming her way at some point. In a funny way, she hoped for one. She knew how important this project was to Callie and understood her own part in inspiring the work. She hated the idea that Callie might keep her feelings hidden from her because of past reactions.

Leah's complaint had been another kick in the gut and Arizona felt guilty for bringing that mess into their relationship. What she wouldn't give to go back and change the way it had all played out.

But it was Alyssa and her father that played on Arizona's mind the most, and she knew the disappointment that Callie was harbouring. It was a disappointment she shared. She could still see the heartbreak in Herb's expression when he agreed to the double amputation, the gratitude in his daughter's face doing little to ease his guilt. She knew how hard it had been for Callie to walk away from the treatment programme she had been working on for the last three years, even though she had come to accept Arizona's assertion that the amputation was the best thing for Alyssa's long-term quality of life.

She opened her mouth to apologise for not supporting Callie's treatment choice - her natural instinct was to apologise these days - and had to bite her lip to stop the words from tumbling out. Another apology was not what Callie needed to hear right now.

Arizona limped forwards and pressed her chest against Callie's back, sliding her hands around her waist and linking her fingers together. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into Callie's thick black hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. Callie placed a wet hand over Arizona's and squeezed them gently.

"What's this for?"

Arizona shrugged. "Just because."

They stayed locked in the embrace, enjoying the closeness. Arizona turned her head and pressed her face against Callie's shoulder.

"I know you think you failed Alyssa today," she said quietly, "but you didn't." She felt Callie's body tense and tightened her arms around her torso in response.

"You didn't," Arizona repeated. "We can't win them all, you know that. Sometimes the treatment doesn't work; sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we run out of options. It doesn't mean that we've failed. Sometimes walking away from it and taking the more drastic action is the right thing to do to give our patient their quality of life back. It was for Alyssa." She paused to let her words sink in and hoped that Callie believed them. "Just like it was for me."

Callie twisted her head around, searching for her wife's face, desperate to look into her eyes. Arizona lifted her gaze and rested her chin on Callie's shoulder.

"I know I've never said it - at least not out loud, not to you," she said softly. "But thank you, Calliope. For everything you did. For saving my life."

Callie broke out of her hold and spun round, resting her hands on Arizona's hips as she studied her face. Her instruction to Alex to cut off Arizona's left leg had weighed heavily on their relationship for the last eighteen months. Even now, even as they worked hard to get their relationship back on track, she still feared that the issue would rear its ugly head again one day.

"Really?" Her voice shook a little, sounding so tentative that it broke Arizona's heart.

Arizona looked up at her and offered her a small smile. "Really," she reiterated. She wrapped her arms around Callie's neck, drawing her in closer. "Don't give up on me, okay?"

It was her greatest fear and Callie could see it written all over her face. "Never," she promised, slipping her hands around Arizona's waist and clasping them together. She leaned into the embrace. "I would never. I love you."

Those three, simple words rippled through Arizona and she felt tears pricking behind her eyes. She let out a small laugh, a little abashed by her response and unable to hide her delight at such a declaration. She brought her right hand to Callie's face and gently stroked her cheek with the back of her fingers, tilting her head and guiding Callie's lips to her own. She ran a hand through her wife's hair and grabbed a fistful, letting her weight settle forward.

"I love you, too," she whispered as she rested her forehead against Callie's. Her fingertips played with the fine hairs on the back of Callie's neck and she finally felt her wife's body relax in her arms. "Leave the dishes until tomorrow. You're exhausted and I really need to take this leg off." She kissed the tip of Callie's nose. "Let's go to bed."

Callie smiled ruefully. "Arizona…"

"And _sleep_," Arizona giggled. "You'd probably zonk out on me half way through anyway."

Callie pouted. "That happened _once!_" she said defensively.

Arizona took a step back and extracted herself from Callie's arms, tipping her head slightly and grinning. Callie took it all in; the way her eyes shined and the way her smile took over her features. Even on the crappiest of days, that megawatt smile still had the ability to make her feel better.

Arizona held out her hand. "Bed?"

Callie hesitated, causing Arizona's eyebrows to arch curiously, before she accepted the outstretched hand. She pushed herself away from the basin, but instead of stepping closer to her wife, she pulled Arizona towards her and wrapped her arms tightly around her shoulders. Arizona fell easily into the embrace.

"What's this for?" she echoed, tucking her arms under Callie's and sliding them around her waist, returning the hug.

Callie smiled, matching Arizona's happiness as she nuzzled her face into her wife's neck.

"Just because."


End file.
